I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
