Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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