69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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