what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
