elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
