Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
