I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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