I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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