it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
two words...techno handjob
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
