But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
