Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
