I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
