Are my feet made of real feet?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
