There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can you bring me the toilet please
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So vagazzling was a success
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
