I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
