so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
