she was so not down for the gang bang
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
