I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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