How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
