I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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