So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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