just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Alive.
So much puke
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
