These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
