The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
