at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize