Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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