end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
