We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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