he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
