OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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