How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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