In the future we'll all be gay
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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