every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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