p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
