they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
