We won't sleep together?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
