Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
