Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
