Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
