I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
