I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
