I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So many bounce houses so little time
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
