the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
