so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
