You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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