sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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