drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
