dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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