i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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