they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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