dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he puts the penis in happiness.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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