you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Operation Purity has been aborted
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
