So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize