We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
