Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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