You just made me feel so damn special
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
