He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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