no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
