Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
