I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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