Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
