i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
