real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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