i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
